Sheldon and his house elf
by mjhammer
Summary: Sheldon finds out that house elves are not made up creatures from Harry Potter. They are in fact real.
1. Chapter 1

Sheldon was relaxing in his spot reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. His most recent roommate had just moved out and once again Sheldon is going to have to clean and repaint the room. He hates cleaning and cooking. As he's reading he's thinking to himself, damn that would be easy, just call for a house elf and they come.

Sheldon without thinking, did exactly that. He called out for Dobby and nearly shit himself when Dobby appeared.

"Yes, Master Sheldon. What can I do for you?"

"Are you real? I was just reading about you in this book. This has to be a bazinga."

"I am real. I am here to serve."

"Can you clean my apartment for me. My last roommate tore it up."

"Be glad too." Dobby then cleans the apartment and repaints the room and it never looked better.

Dobby comes in the living room and says "Anything else master?"

"Not at this time. Thank you."

Dobby is twitching like crazy. Not used to being thanked for his services. He then leaves.

This goes on for next several years. Even after Leonard moves in. Leonard thinks it's just Sheldon being a germaphobe and has to clean clean clean. He doesn't know about Dobby's cooking and cleaning. This still goes on even after Penny moves in across the hall.

Few weeks later after Sheldon sees just how messy Penny is, he asks Dobby to clean her apartment. That night Penny wakes up and walks out to the kitchen to get something to eat and starts screaming, "SON OF A BITCH. SHELDON GET YOUR ASS IN HERE."

Sheldon and Leonard run in to find out what happened as Dobby starts ironing his ears because he's done wrong. Sheldon tells Dobby to stop that and he does.

"Sheldon why the fuck is Dobby from Harry Potter cleaning my apartment?"

"He's been my house elf for a years now. He loves it."

After this things get back to normal. Now that Penny and Leonard know about Dobby, there's no need for Sheldon to pretend he can cook and clean. It continues to be fine until Leonard finds out about Sheldon's dog Snuffles.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

**Flashback:**

Sheldon goes to the dog pound to find a dog. He has always wanted one. He finally gets Leonard to agree to this. He finds a grim looking dog that looks close to dead. Adopts him and names him Snuffles because of his love for the Harry Potter books.

**Present day:**

Leonard is out of the apartment while Sheldon is reading Prisoner of Azkaban and occasionally making comments. His dog, Snuffles, does nothing but play around and always acts like a puppy despite how old he is. This gets on Leonard's nerves but he does nothing about it.

Sheldon while reading comments, "I like Snape. What a great character. Totally misunderstood."

Snuffles hears this and growls like crazy as if he knows who Sheldon is talking about. He keeps on barking and being a nuisance.

"Stop that Snuffles." Sheldon says. "It's just a character in a book." Sheldon then remembers about Dobby being real and working for Sheldon as his own house elf.

"Snuffles are you Sirius black?"

"Yes, Sheldon. I was wondering when you would figure it out." Says Sirius after transforming.

Leonard walks in just at that moment and says, "Damn not again. Bad enough Dobby is real. You can't be serious. He can't be real."

"Your right I'm not serious, I'm Sirius."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

Over the next several months many others from Harry Potter universe showed up. Leonard stopped being shocked when Voldemort himself stopped by for his birthday party.

August 31:

Snape was in a really pissed off mood. Every teacher was gone. Even Voldemort was gone. Noone had seen or heard from any of them. The new school term was supposed to start tomorrow. Can't do that with Dumbledore, Minerva and all of the teachers gone. Even the ghost, Binns, is gone.

Snape tracked them down to an apartment building in Pasadena. His pissy mood wasn't helped by having to walk up four flights of stairs because the elevator was broken. He gets to 4a and knocks and almost dies of shock when a drunk Minerva answers and promptly kisses him.

"Oh shit." says Sirius. "We're in for it now. It's Hans Gruber. He's going to yippie ka yea us."

"I am not Hans Gruber you twit."

"You sure? My bad. You're Steve Spurrier the football coach."

"You fucking idiot, Sirius. If you're going to make fun of me for looking like that no talent hack, Alan Rickman, then at least get the references right. Rickman played Spurrier a wine seller not the football coach."

Snape sees a drunken party going out of control. He found all of his missing teachers and found Albus. It was just then that a drunken Voldemort spoke up.

"Get your ass in here Metatron and enjoy the party."

"I AM NOT HANS GRUBER, STEVEN SPURRIER, THE METATRON OR EVEN THE SHERRIFF OF NOTTINGHAM AND NO BEFORE ONE OF THE GIRLS SAYS IT, I WAS NEVER IN THE 2 CHICK FLICKS, SENSE AND SENSIBILITY OR LOVE ACTUALLY. THAT WAS ALAN RICKMAN."

Snape turned around said fuck all of this, to himself and left. He quit Hogwarts and tried to find Bruce Willis to make another Die hard Movie.


End file.
